if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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