there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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