And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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