im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
