I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
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Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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