I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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