No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize