I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
