If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
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