i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
