I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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