guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize