when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
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He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
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When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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