Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Dicks are not precious.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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