I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
