The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
