I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
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