Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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