We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
