I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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