i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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