what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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