So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
