The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
