do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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