i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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