Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize