i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
wow bdsm is so cute
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
