I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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