i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
