I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
