My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
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Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
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i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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