I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
