I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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