Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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