Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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