the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
