I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
