Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
