she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
