and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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