Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
look no pants
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
