Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
