At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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