We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
