If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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