Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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