so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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