Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Randomize
