I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
