my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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