Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize