the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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