Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
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I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties