he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i drank out of a bidet.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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