we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Randomize
