Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet http://tfl.nu/haby
  Replies (4) Good night (595) Bad night (2724)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem. http://tfl.nu/xqri
  Replies (18) Good night (4431) Bad night (1414)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie. http://tfl.nu/kbq6
  Replies (6) Good night (997) Bad night (3224)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home... http://tfl.nu/c5f1
  Replies (11) Good night (4411) Bad night (1549)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood http://tfl.nu/t6a5
  Replies (13) Good night (1096) Bad night (3790)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this. http://tfl.nu/g847
  Replies (16) Good night (3675) Bad night (996)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old. http://tfl.nu/6kgo
  Replies (8) Good night (3735) Bad night (1183)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here. http://tfl.nu/72ey
  Replies (13) Good night (2149) Bad night (1203)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo http://tfl.nu/892m
  Replies (17) Good night (2713) Bad night (4189)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this. http://tfl.nu/u3i1
  Replies (1) Good night (794) Bad night (1147)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'. (219): I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said http://tfl.nu/2r64
  Replies (3) Good night (1030) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right? http://tfl.nu/axzn
  Replies (0) Good night (414) Bad night (244)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (559): Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle. http://tfl.nu/b5en
  Replies (1) Good night (478) Bad night (219)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day. http://tfl.nu/6mst
  Replies (1) Good night (417) Bad night (173)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her http://tfl.nu/4jwu
  Replies (4) Good night (362) Bad night (167)

Randomize