u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize