Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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